Curious Emmett
by BEN-Beyond the Elusive Nomads
Summary: After thirty years with the Cullens, Bella thought she knew them fairly well. Then there's Emmett. My entry for the 'Epic T-Rated One-Shot Contest' held by Bronzehairedgirl620 and in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal.


**The Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest  
**Hosted by Daddy's Little Cannibal and Bronzehairedgirl620.

The rules are as followed:  
1. No lemons.  
2. It must be rated T.  
3. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a cannibal.  
4. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a fireman.  
1. No lemons.  
5. Cannon pairings.  
6. It has to be a **one-shot**, you're allowed to continue it when the contest is over with.  
7. Must copy and paste this to the beginning of every story you enter (you're allowed up to two entries, collaborations are accepted).  
1. **No lemons.**

For more information PM either Daddy's Little Cannibal or Bronzehairedgirl620. The contest ends June 6, 2009 at 11:59 MST. All entries must follow the rules listed above and have to be posted on FF.

-

**Curious Emmett**

Living with the Cullen's for about thirty years now, I thought that I had seen everything. I thought that I could finally understand them.

Alice was a happy little thing, bouncy all the time, and always smiling. Rosalie could come off as cold, while really she was just protective of her family. The same thing could be said for Jasper, but mostly he was trying not to kill anyone (when we were around humans).

Carlisle was the compassionate doctor who was rarely biased, and always stood in as the third party and the master of compromise. Esme was the loving, mother like figure who loved all of us as if we were her own. Edward was the over protective, loving, caring, smart, sensible (most of the time), and devoted husband.

But of course, I might be a bit biased.

Jacob was a bit of an outsider due to the small fact that he was a werewolf, but he was still one of my best friends and the most loyal guy you could ever meet (besides Edward, of course). He really was like a dog; man's best friend. Renesmee was my baby girl, who I loved more then life, or un-life, itself.

And then there was Emmett. When I finally thought I had understood him just a little bit, he throws us a curve ball. So, every once and a while I'd get a bit jumpy, expecting him to do something outrageous. Then, when I'd finally calm down and relax…

"Are we cannibals?"

And there we are. I stared at him for a moment, before I realized that the question wasn't completely stupid; he had a point. Edward looked at him, before sighing.

"Where do you come up with these questions?" he asked, sounding exasperated and curious all at the same time. I giggled, and gently grasped his hand. His eyes flickered over to mine and he grinned, before returning his attention back to Emmett, who was waiting for an answer.

"The scary thing is, is that I didn't see that coming," Alice said as she flipped through a magazine as she painted her toes as she sat on the floor in front of Jasper's seat in a comfortable armchair, who looked up from his book to watch with a raised eyebrow.

"Neither did I," Edward said, and I giggled again.

"What?" Emmett asked, "I'm just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat," Esme said as she entered the house, her pants slightly dirty; no doubt from working in the garden.

"Yeah, well I'm not a cat!" Emmett retorted childishly, before turning to the stairs as Carlisle came down, "Carlisle!!! I have a question for you!!" I began laughing as a wary look crossed over his face. Emmett glared half-heartedly, before looking back at Carlisle.

"Yes?"

"Are we considered cannibals?" he asked. Carlisle sighed.

"No. By definition, Cannibalism is when a human consumes another human, or an animal that eats his own kind. Technically, Vampires and Humans are different species." Emmett 'oh'ed, before un-pausing his video games and continuing. Carlisle walked over to Esme, and they made their way out back, while Rosalie came in from the garage, her hair tied back in a ponytail.

"If we get a hair-cut, will it grow back or stay the same length forever?"

"Where do you come up with these questions?" Edward asked, sounding completely confused, "It honestly just popped into your mind, and you asked it!! I still can't understand your mind." I giggled, and Jacob came in with Renesmee gently holding his hand.

"Wassup?" He asked as he plopped onto the couch beside me, and Nessie took a seat beside him.

"I don't think your hair would grow back," Rosalie said simply as she then glared at Jacob, "Look what the cat dragged in."

"Why are they so many sayings about cats?" Emmett asked, game still paused, "I don't get it. 'Curiosity killed the cat', 'Cat got your tongue', 'Look what the cat dragged in'. Seriously!! Are cat's really that interesting?"

"I'm going to say that One, because of alliteration, two, I don't know, and three, because cat's tend to kill things and then take them inside," Jacob replied. Emmett seemed to accept this, before he began to turn back to the TV. Then, when I thought he might return to the game, he spoke again.

"I want to be a Fireman." If I was drinking (if I could drink for that matter) I would have spit it out before staring at him as if he were insane. But since I wasn't drinking anything, I just stared at him incredulously.

"Emmett…" I started, "You do realize that fire and vampires don't mix…right?" Emmett blinked.

"Oh. I forgot." I sighed, and soon I began chuckling. The image of Emmett as a fireman was too much for me, coupled with his odd questions, and I was a goner. I burst out laughing, and everyone stared at me as if I were insane. But Jacob then grinned.

"Hey, Rosalie, How did the blonde try to kill the bird?" Rosalie glared.

"Really? You're still doing that?"

"She threw it off the cliff!" Renesmee giggled, earning another grin from Jacob. I sighed, and waited, fearing Emmett might have another question.

"Shit!!" Emmett yelled, causing me to glance at him curiously.

"What?" I asked, though I'm sure I didn't want to know. Emmett looked at me with wide eyes.

"If we never die, how do we have a mid-life crisis!?!?"

**-**

**DONE!!!! ::Grin:: Emmett is fun.**

**B.E.N.**

**PS: As a lot of you may have heard, DLC passed away this weekend on May 8, 2009. For more information on what happened, refer to Bronzehairedgirl620's profile.**


End file.
